Urban Reformation

Close your eyes…. just kidding, but think for a moment with me of your closest spiritual friend.  Think of how you became friends.  Now thing of the qualities that make up that friend, their character.  What are the genuine qualities that draw you to them, that allow you to be transparent and vulnerable with them?  Perhaps they inspire you, motivate you, encourage you? Have you ever had a friend that you could hear truth from?  For example, when something is wrong in your life, or when your heart is at a low point the help you lift your head up and out of your pity party and help set your mind on the things above?  I’m speaking of Christian friendship.  Some are discipleship relationships, some are brotherly  or sisterly relationships, some are spiritual fathers or spiritual mothers in your life, regardless all of these friendships are based in the only perfect common denominator and that is the Gospel.  In other words the one thing that you have in common with these people is, the fact that God has granted them repentance, and faith in Jesus Christ, and there is no friendship, or fellowship that satisfies like these relationships.

Often however, in American Christianity we have secluded ourselves so far away from true relationships for of a number of busy excuses, our churches are often filled with spiritual orphans.  We have in fact many congregations a spiritual epidemic on hand of spiritual orphan hood.  Often it’s difficult to see, we in our American ’self sufficiency’ need little want for little, and desire little to be shown our sin.  In fact our skin has grown weak and thin, to the point where no one else can say much of anything to us about our sin or we roll up in a fetal position and request some new anti-depressant medication to medicate our internal wound.

Today in our Small Group Leadership meeting we went over chapter two of Small Groups, Rediscovering Fellowship.  Have I said that I recommend this book already?… not simply for small groups but for Church in general.  It’s really a guide in how to do “real” church.  It’s not “ecclesiology” per se but the “relationships” knitty gritty of relationships.

The author of this chapter John Loftness begins the chapter by explaining that true fellowship is found only in that common bond, that wonderful identifier of Christ alone.  This is the power, and motivation, love, and forbearance in our relationships.  What I appreciate about this chapter is he described the issues and demonstrated the answers. He explains well what is needed in a small group or church for it’s own good and health.  He described some examples of the means of this grace of “fellowship” to be these eight suggestions.  I phrased them to be questions so that we can ask ourselves these questions, in our own lives, and in our small groups are we doing this with people from our fellowship?  And if we’re not, how do we make changes to get there?  Here are some remedies to help move us out of the shallow waters of the “Iceberg Christianity” into the deep of Gospel Centric Relationships.

Do we Worship God together?
Do I or Are we Praying for one another?
Are people allowed or encouraged in our lives or groups to utilize our spiritual gifts?
Am I or do we Carry one another’s burdens?
Am I or do we Share about our spiritual experiences with others?
Am I or do we Confess our sins to one another?
Am I or do we Correct one another, in love?
Am I or do we Serve one another in practical ways?

This is a self assessment if you will, modified by me, but taken from the book to see how we are doing with our own lives and with our relationships.  Are we getting beyond the surface layer of relationship ?   And are we, in these voluntary association in our church buildings, are we truly being the body if we haven’t gotten past the superficial trivialities of life and moved on into a deep abiding vine relationship with Christ connected to the body ?

The next section of the chapter deserves a full reading.  It’s a short section of a chapter and worth every bit of the six dollars for the entire book.  This speaks of quenching the Spirit in a sense.

The topic being in a general sense as was explained by Joe Humphries in our group session this morning when he rightly pointed out all of these next subtopics are rooted in the main topic of pride.  The theme was Hindrances to Fellowship.  Here are a few excerpts to give you an idea.

Self-sufficiency. This sin announces to God and others
that we are adequate in ourselves. It reveals itself in
a lack of prayer (demonstrating our delusion that we
don’t need God) and a lack of fellowship (demonstrating
our delusion that we don’t need each other).

Formality. We can also fall into formality within
our small groups—the very place
where fellowship demands spontaneity
and openness. In fact, I’ve found the
meetings of many small groups to be
as predictable as any liturgy (and I say
this without any intent to denigrate
congregations that employ a liturgy).
The leader follows a standard pattern. The same people
pray, read Scripture, talk about their problems. Every time.
But fellowship is spiritual—“of the Spirit”—and so
should our meetings be. The needs and issues of our lives
change, and so should the content and topics of our meetings,
for the Spirit is constantly at work in our lives to
conform us to Christ’s image in specific ways. We must
adapt to his work, and invite others to help us. I’m not
advocating there be no plan or format to meetings, but
rather, that the plans include opportunities for everyone
to share the work of the Spirit in his or her life.

Bitterness. Bitterness in the context of fellowship issimply a sinful reaction to something gone awry in a relationship. Consider these areas:
Unfulfilled expectations: “I’ve invited him to
lunch, and he didn’t accept; I’ve opened my life
to him and he didn’t follow up; I thought we
would become close friends, but instead he
spends all his time with someone else.”
n Offended pride: “Your correction was inaccurate,
and I’m insulted that you’d even think I could do
such a thing. I’ll never open my life to you again.”

Elitism. This condescending attitude toward those
whom we deem less mature than ourselves quenches fellowship—
or turns it into a narrow one-way street. We
find elitism in this kind of thinking: “I can help him, but
he’s not mature enough to make any contribution to my
growth. I only share my life with people mature enough
to handle my problems.” Or we can form cliques rooted
in the pride of tenure: “I’ve been here a long time and my
relationships are established. Those folks would probably be more comfortable with
some of the newer members.”

These excerpts speak volumes for themselves and leave us with the question how tightly knit are our own personal Gospel centric relationships?  What about in our groups and our friendships?  Is this something we are  intentionally seeking after.

The purpose is sanctification, the means is you and I via the Holy Spirit’s working in us with one another.  It leaves us to ask ourselves where are we going in our relationships?  Do we have a destination?  Are we aiming for a goal ?  Did an arrow ever hit the bulls eye with out the archer knowing first where the bulls eye was before he shot?  Are we in our fellowship, do we have purposed sanctification as our goal and are we headed in that direction?  If we’re not might we ask God to grant us the ability and the means to be honest and ask ourselves, me specifically am I doing all I can to foster this means of God’s grace in my own life and small group?  How may I serve God better for the purpose of sanctification and as a pencil in the hand of God to write His story in the lives of those whom He may affect, by living what we say we believe.

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