A friend of mine and I were having coffee this evening at a local Starbucks, surprise!  And the topic lead to getting ahead of God in our confidence when things are going well.

We spoke somewhat about a brake that God puts on me when I can feel myself inching my way into a greater degree of pridefulness.   I keep this scripture in mind when I feel the Lord is far from me.  When I am alone or lonely, and I am asking the question, ” God where are you?”   How am I asking and why?  Am I broken ?

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18

There is frequently a new nearness from God when I am weak, when I tell God how I work, motivated by my flesh today, and throw my hands in the air and give my fears, troubles, and doubts to Him.  When I am crushed by the weight of my own pride, and the walls near me on all sides there is but one place to go again today, and that is to the cross.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.            – Psalm 51:17

This thing of works, that often “I think” I must do “or else” are not acceptable sacrifices for the Lord.  We are not sufficient in and of ourselves, yet we play trickery all the time with ourselves.  We have nothing to offer God, nothing…. it is Christ alone who saves, and grants us the ability to believe.

We must remember that He is near to us when we are broken.  Embrace trials, don’t look for them, but embrace them, they are here because your Father, “if you’re  a Christian” has allowed them to you for your own good and His glory!

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.. – Romans 6:12

One thing that God has been teaching me, and in my own daily experiences, all times that I can think of when there is strife, pain, difficulty in this life it’s rooted in a few things.  Primarily sin as and in our reaction to sin, the sin of unbelief in the gospel, and at its base it is all rooted in pride.  This is easily seen in the unbelievers life, as I went over Matthew 7 with my children at the dinner table last evening, we discussed the different kinds of fruit.  We talked about the differing natures of the two kinds of trees the fig three and the thorn tree, as they symbolize Faith, and Unbelief.

However once we are believers and Justified, why is it that we continue to sin?  And there are somethings, some pains, some remembrances of sin that hinder our growth.

I have been meditating on hurts and pains of so many and then their reaction to the sin of others.  We have in each decision a choice to make.  Wow God does give us a choice as believers, we will either be a slave to sin or to righteousness, and it says in Romans that if we are believers WE are no longer slaves to sin!!!

If we’re no longer slaves to sin why do we still have sin going on?  I believe that in our justified state, we often times lose sight of the cross.  Some do this  in their laziness and apathy, others forget what Grace means and really is, just like the Israelites failed to remember what God had done, when things get hard or difficult we delve on the circumstances of our own lives and we are failing to look at Christ.  We in fact look at whatever problem, or difficulty in light of our own flesh and we focus on ME.   I heard a preacher on the radio say the other day, I’m not sure who to attribute the quote to, but he said repentance is turning from Self and Faith is turning toward Christ.   We must in our moments of pain, difficulty, and strife, turn away from self-pity, self-crying, and though somethings hurt us to the core of our being, we must turn to our only hope Christ in faith and belief.

I was reading a Spurgeon Sermon that helped me in this regard.

We have seen that God justifieth, that He justifieth the ungodly and that He justifies them through faith in the precious blood of Jesus; we have now to see the condition these ungodly ones are in when Jesus works out their salvation. Many awakened persons are not only troubled about their sin, but about their moral weakness. They have no strength with which to escape from the mire into which they have fallen, nor to keep out of it in after days. They not only lament over what they have done, but over what they cannot do. They feel themselves to be powerless, helpless, and spiritually lifeless. It may sound odd to say that they feel dead, and yet it is even so. They are, in their own esteem, to all good incapable. They cannot travel the road to Heaven, for their bones are broken. “None of the men of strength have found their hands;” in fact, they are “without strength.” Happily, it is written, as the commendation of God’s love to us:
When we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:6).
Here we see conscious helplessness succored—succored by the interposition of the Lord Jesus. Our helplessness is extreme. It is not written, ” When we were comparatively weak Christ died for us”; or, “When we had only a little strength”; but the description is absolute and unrestricted; “When we were yet without strength.” We had no strength whatever which could aid in our salvation; our Lord’s words were emphatically true, “Without me ye can do nothing.” I may go further than the text, and remind you of the great love wherewith the Lord loved us, “even when we were dead in trespasses and sins.” To be dead is even more than to be without strength.
The one thing that the poor strengthless sinner has to fix his mind upon, and firmly retain, as his one ground of hope, is the divine assurance that “in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” Believe this, and all inability will disappear. As it is fabled of Midas that he turned everything into gold by his touch, so it is true of faith that it turns everything it touches into good. Our very needs and weaknesses become blessings when faith deals with them.

We have seen that God justifieth, that He justifieth the ungodly and that He justifies them through faith in the precious blood of Jesus; we have now to see the condition these ungodly ones are in when Jesus works out their salvation. Many awakened persons are not only troubled about their sin, but about their moral weakness. They have no strength with which to escape from the mire into which they have fallen, nor to keep out of it in after days. They not only lament over what they have done, but over what they cannot do. They feel themselves to be powerless, helpless, and spiritually lifeless. It may sound odd to say that they feel dead, and yet it is even so. They are, in their own esteem, to all good incapable. They cannot travel the road to Heaven, for their bones are broken. “None of the men of strength have found their hands;” in fact, they are “without strength.” Happily, it is written, as the commendation of God’s love to us:
When we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:6).
Here we see conscious helplessness succored—succored by the interposition of the Lord Jesus. Our helplessness is extreme. It is not written, ” When we were comparatively weak Christ died for us”; or, “When we had only a little strength”; but the description is absolute and unrestricted; “When we were yet without strength.” We had no strength whatever which could aid in our salvation; our Lord’s words were emphatically true, “Without me ye can do nothing.” I may go further than the text, and remind you of the great love wherewith the Lord loved us, “even when we were dead in trespasses and sins.” To be dead is even more than to be without strength.
The one thing that the poor strengthless sinner has to fix his mind upon, and firmly retain, as his one ground of hope, is the divine assurance that “in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” Believe this, and all inability will disappear. As it is fabled of Midas that he turned everything into gold by his touch, so it is true of faith that it turns everything it touches into good. Our very needs and weaknesses become blessings when faith deals with them.

And it is to the other side of the pain or difficulty we must look.  We must raise our eyes to look into truth, and preach this truth to ourselves, because our emotions and feelings fail, and are often tainted with sin, when not accompanied with truth.  May God grant us the ability to believe, help our unbelief Lord!

In the beginning of the Summer we had two minivans, and we parked on the street.  I could go on about the auto-thefts or the windows, or the car crashes, but I’ve already done that, (shattered windows)here, (stolen)here, the final word here (crash).

Honorable mention is also a blue van we had for a few weeks before the transmission went out donated to us by God’s Mountain Camp.  I was told by a friend that if his wife wrote a story about what’s happened over this summer, it wouldn’t be, believable.  I concur it seemed so surreal so much of the time.  All of that being said we’ve also seen a lot of devastating spiritual things take place which could easily take the spot light over some stolen vehicles or broken glass.

Our house reminded me as I sat and thanked God for our driveway this morning, of our sanctification.  We get torn down by the issues of life, by circumstances, yet God continues the work he started because He is faithful.  Not the house or anything about the house but because God is faithful to Himself and His word.

We began this journey to come to the North East of Kansas City, I must confess being a small town anglo white boy from Kansas working out my salvation in fear and trembling in the North East doesn’t seem to always go together.  I thought today about how we go along in life and are oblivious to the power of God.  He could smash me in an instant, yet he had mercy.

I remember a Sermon Tim Juhnke spoke about not too far back about discipline.  I recall that there are several different kinds and it isn’t always healthy to try to figure out why you’re being disciplined but to trust that God has the best thing for you and that your discipline is because He loves you.    Is it sin?  Is it to build my character?  Is it to take away an Idol?  I pray for the answers yet the only thing I really have to go on is that it is for my good.

In spite of so many trials, even the inability to reach out this summer as I had hoped, God has been faithful to me and my family all summer long.  The communication between my wife and I has been extraordinary over the summer because these trials, were great and more frequent, and the busyness of life became less.  Oh we are about to get back into busy mode here but I thank God for the trials for the goodness of our marriage.   Let me encourage you to read Tim Challie’s blog on some of his Personal Reflections.

So I am so thankful for my wife, and our relationship this summer.  We are preparing to celebrate our 10 year anniversary as well and I am truly blessed by my wife, she is truly the love of my life and truly the better half of our marriage.

I am also blessed that we were able to go through these trials with my children.  They learning the value of material things, seeing us at our less than sanctified moments of frustration, and our repentance when we sin or fail.  God has allowed conversations about things that would not have come otherwise, at least not in this time or season of life.

We have been blessed by friends who have come along side of us, and in spite of my own pride to receive rides to work and my wife to get rides to the store we have had to depend on others for a season.  This was beneficial for a couple of reasons, there were benefits in fellowship and spending time with one another in Christ and long term our relationships are stronger because of the time we spent with one another.

People often say that they want something  Beyond McChurch yet Christ centered relationships are only developed around Christ and with Time.  We so often want them like a Big Mac, now.  This is a longer process you may have to buy the cow to get the Big Mac.  I have been blessed by these relationships over the summer, those whom allowed me to depend upon them.  I pray only that I did not in any way take advantage or presume on their kindness.

I’m thankful for my parents as they gave my wife and I numerous times their van to borrow on the weekends.  This was an incredible blessing.  God also has allowed me through some of these various trials, and trials I have not mentioned explicitly to make more friends, and to love more and deeper.  I have prayed more this summer than I have in a long time, I still pray for reconciliation for so many things and repentance for so many more.

In spite of tragedy God has been faithful, and Good, and though our summer was unrelenting at times God gave us Grace, and is still granting us mercy every day.

I have not mentioned a number of things I am thankful for here, but I know them all in my heart and I am thankful despite of my flesh screaming otherwise at times.

I am thankful for friends family, and most of all the grace and mercy of God the father, though I don’t deserve it has blessed me with these people whom I will never forget.

Even as believers often times we might look at our own lives and are easily satisfied with our walk with the Lord. We may say we’re not content with our walk but by our inaction we often tell another story. However there is a thing called healthy spiritual discontentment.

We are the most spiritually content in our justification, that is Christ’s finished the work on the cross, but have a healthy discontentment in our personal holiness and sanctification. If we are content with our practical living out of our Christianity what does this tell us about our walk? Perhaps not outwardly but inwardly we believe we’ve arrived to a place or spiritual plateau.

We look or compare ourselves with others around us, and if we are steady in the word, or if we’re not, if we’re sporadic and unfocused, others around us don’t seem to be faithful in those areas either and often times we can settle for a very low bar, we remain unstirred, though it’s not ideal it would often require too much effort otherwise.

I need to make one clarification, I don’t mean effort in working on whatever sin or problem or circumstance, but what I mean is it would require too much effort, it would require too much self-death at the moment to seek God in the situation. Our flesh always believing there is something more that the sufficiency of the Gospel.

We also use these comparisons to place blame. I have been taught many times from great teachers this principle, that many use this ‘comparing to others’, to justify our own behavior and blame others’ for our lack of “right” living, or our own lack of practical holiness etc.

For example, everyone else is going into debt, and buying everything they think they need, I don’t see why I shouldn’t. Another example would be, “My spouse never serves me or is considerate of me, so I’m under no obligation to serve him or her or be considerate, much less love her or respect him in our marriage.”

We are a people of the perpetual conditional idolatrous self love, who in every daily instance and circumstance are in grave need of the Gospel. And we must seek it with our whole hearts.

The other side of the coin is when we compare ourselves to others for the purpose of showing ourselves to be good. We in our fleshly desires are eager to love ourselves, to point to our works and to take credit for the things God has done. We do this in our comparing our accomplishments with those of who have fewer.

It might manifest itself in the same scenario above but from an angle of looking down, “At least I’m doing something in church being used somehow. I mean I know I’ve got a little more time that some people but I need my own time and the things I really enjoy doing. I mean following Christ doesn’t mean I have to give up any of my hobbies or the things I like to spend the majority of my time on. I mean I do some ministry once a month, thank goodness I’m not like some of those people who don’t even serve once a month.”

Christians are often eager to point out that we must be careful when we make these comparisons because if we truly understand the Gospel we haven’t a single thing to boast about. These comparisons steal away from the Glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ. They are in themselves manifestations of pride which steal the rightful glory of God.

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. -2 Corinthians 10:12

Luke 18:9-14 is a great example of this comparison which steals Glory from God and exposes self and self sufficiency, self love, and self glorification.

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed [1] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

This Pharisee has epitomized what it means to take credit for what God has done, and has begun to boast. I would imagine without thinking too much about it because his life looks pretty holy from the outside, but it is gospel-less attitude toward the tax collector and an elevation of self which has thieved the Glory of our father.

Now let me bring this thought perhaps to your attention. I listened to a sermon a few months ago in which the speaker was speaking about comparisons. He was talking about the state of the church how healthy or unhealthy ‘Church’ was in general and he said and I am paraphrasing the thought, “What we have done in comparison is to compare our church to other churches verses compare our church to the scriptures.” This is the bar that is raised for all men and all churches to attain toward.

I cannot tell you how often I need God to grant me the ability to see more grace in the life of church at the same time, I cannot tell you the innumerable times I have heard from others in various places, “At least our church isn’t like this …..” fill in the blank. The Pharisee didn’t know he was deceived about his faith, and he in his own mind was being grateful to God, “I thank God I’m not like ….” But we must be careful in our comparisons.

In understanding that the Gospel must come to bare on all aspects of my thinking God has shown me that I must seek to repent for my own comparisons, the comparisons in my life with other believers, and the comparisons of our church with other churches.

The only comparison that we should be making at any point in time is our comparison between our own lives and God’s word, and the only comparison we need make between our church, is that comparison between our church and God’s word.

If we do this we will come to realize that we are so far away from God’s standard and the only way to go is up because we live in our own sinful failures, and need our mediator both in our lives and in our churches as we grow up together in Christ, and as God transforms the bride to the fullness of faith. Ephesians 4

The Gospel bar is HIGH HIGH HIGH, Holy Holy Holy, it is the bar that God has set for our sanctification. We should be passionately seeking God humbling ourselves, and when we make comparisons make our comparisons next to the cross, where no man, or church can stand without Jesus Christ. This demonstrates our need for the Gospel daily and our need for Jesus Christ. We remove self-sufficiency but keep the bar High because He is worthy. We are motivated daily by the Gospel to reach that bar which God has set forth in his word, a Holy People a Royal Priesthood, as we strive toward being conformed to Christ in sanctification!

 This is what I was reading this morning in my study on the Sermon On The Mount. I may comment later but the passage speaks for itself.

Page 261 Studies in the Sermon on the Mount By Dr. Martyn Lloyd –Jones

And the whole trouble is just self and self-assertion. That is self regarded doctrinally. But self always means defiance of God; it always means that I put myself on the throne instead of God, and therefore it is always something that separates me from Him.

All moments of unhappiness in life are ultimately due to this separation. A person who is in real communion with God and with the Lord Jesus Christ is happy. It does not matter whether he is in a dungeon, or whether he has his feet fast in the stocks, or whether he is burning at the stake; he is still happy if he is in communion with God. Is not that the experience of the saints down the centuries? So the ultimate cause of any misery or lack of joy is separation from God, and the one cause of separation from Him is self. Whenever we are unhappy it means that in some way or other we are looking at ourselves and thinking about ourselves, instead of communing with God. Man, according to the Scriptures, was meant to live entirely to the glory of God. He was meant to love the Lord God with all his heart, with all his soul, with all his mind and with all his strength. The whole of man was meant to glorify God. Therefore, any desire to glorify self or safeguard the interests of self is of necessity a sin, because I am looking at myself instead of looking at God and seeking His honor and glory. And it is that very thing in man which God has condemned. It is that which is under the curse of God and the wrath of God. And as I understand the teaching of Scripture, holiness eventually means this, deliverance from this self-centered life. Holiness, in other words, must not be thought of primarily in terms of actions, but in terms of an attitude toward self. It does not mean essentially that I do not do certain things and try to do others. There are people who never do certain things that are regarded as sinful; but they are full of pride of self. So we must look at it in terms of self and our relationships to our self, and we must realize again that the essence of holiness is that we should be able to say with George Muller that we have died, and died completely, to this self that has caused so much to ruin our lives and experience.

Now, lastly, let us come to the highest level and look at the problem of self in the light of Christ. Why did the Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God ever come into this world? He came ultimately in order to deliver mankind from self. We see this selfless life so perfectly in Him. Look at His coming from glory of heaven to the stable in Bethlehem. Why did he come? There is only one answer to that question. He did not consider Himself. That is the essence of the statement that Paul makes in Philippians 2. He was eternally the Son of God and was ‘equal with God’ from eternity, but He did not consider that; He did not hold on to that and to His right to the manifestation of that glory. He humbled Himself and denied Himself. There would never have been the incarnation had it not been that the Son of God put self, as it were, aside.

Then look at His selfless life here upon earth. He often said that the words he spake He did not speak of Himself, and the actions He performed He said ‘are not mine; they have been given to me of the Father’. That is how I understand Paul’s teaching of self-humiliation of the cross. It means that, coming in the likeness of man, He deliberately made Himself dependent upon God; He did not consider Himself at all. He said: ‘ I have come to do thy will, O God,’ and He was wholly dependent upon God for everything, for the words He spoke and for everything He did. The very Son of God humbled Himself to that extent. He did not live for Himself or by Himself in any measure. And the apostle’s argument is, ‘ Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.’

We see it supremely of course in His death upon the cross. He was innocent and guiltless, He had never sinned or done anyone any harm, yet ‘when he was reviled, (he) reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judges righteously’ (1 Peter 2:23). That is it. The cross of Christ is the supreme illustration, and the argument of the New Testament is this, that if we say we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and believe that He has died for our sins, it means that our greatest desire should be to die to self. That is the final purpose of His dying, not merely that we might be forgiven, or that we might be saved from hell. Rather it was that a new people be formed, a new humanity, a new creation, and that a new kingdom be set up, consisting of people like Himself. He is ‘the first born amoung many brethren,’ He is the pattern. God has made us, say Paul to the Ephesians: ‘We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus. ‘We are ‘to be conformed to the image of his Son’. That is the language of Scripture. So that we may say that the reason for His death on the cross is that you and I might be saved and separated from that life of self. ‘He died for all’, says the apostle again in 2 Corinthians 5. We believe ‘that if one died for all, then were all dead; and that he died for all.’ Why? For this reason, says Paul: ‘that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.’ That is the life to which we are called. Not the life of self-defense or self-sensitivity, but such a life that, even if we are insulted, we do not retaliate; if we receive a blow on the right cheek we are ready to turn the other also; if a man sues us at the law and takes away our coat we are ready to give our cloak also; if we are compelled to go a mile, we go twain; if a man comes and ask something of me I do not say, ‘This is mine’; I say rather, I have died to myself, and my one concern now is the glory and honour of God.

That is the life to which the Lord Jesus Christ calls us and He died in order that you and I might live it. That God the gospel also goes on to tell us that He rose again and that He has sent into the Church, and into every one who believes on Him, the Holy Spirit with all His renovating and energizing power. If we are trying to live this kind of life in and of ourselves, we are doomed; we are damned before we start. But with the blessed promise and offer the Spirit of God to come and dwell in us and work in us, there is hope for us. God has made this life possible. If George Muller could die to George Muller, why should not everyone of us who is a Christian die in the same way to self that is so sinful, that leads to so much misery and wretchedness and unhappiness, which finally is such a denial of the blessed work of the Son of God upon the cross on Calvary’s hill?

It is always good to reflect on this from time to time. Note the word “Undetected”

This links arm in arm with what we’ve studied in our Shepherding Group over the past year, in the CJ Mahaney Book on Humility as well as the paper hand out of the 30 manifestations of pride from Exemplary Husband. If anyone wants to know further about the picture of the bagel and cream cheese, it’s from one of the great illustration in the book on Humility by CJ Mahaney.

As for the reading of the Edwards peace below, it is wise to read it first and think ONLY of yourself and not others while reading it. It’s easier to see pride in others and yet the purpose of it is to seek to cast down pride and cultivate humility in ones self.

Undetected Spiritual Pride by Jonathan Edwards

The first and worst cause of errors that abound in our day and age is spiritual pride. This is the main door by which the devil comes into the hearts of those who are zealous for the advancement of Christ. It is the chief inlet of smoke from the bottomless pit to darken the mind and mislead the judgment.

Pride is the main handle by which he has hold of Christian persons and the chief source of all the mischief that he introduces to clog and hinder a work of God. Spiritual pride is the main spring or at least the main support of all other errors. Until this disease is cured, medicines are applied in vain to heal all other diseases.

It is by spiritual pride that the mind defends and justifies itself in other errors and defends itself against light by which it might be corrected and reclaimed. The spiritually proud man thinks he is full of light already and feels that he does not need instruction, so he is ready to ignore the offer of it.

On the other hand, the humble person is like a little child who easily receives instruction. He is cautious in his estimate of himself, sensitive as to how liable he is to go astray. If it is suggested to him that he is going astray, he is most ready to check into the matter.

Nothing sets a Christian so much out of the devil s reach than humility and so prepares the mind for divine light without darkness. Humility clears the eye to look at things as they truly are. Psalm 25:9—He leads the humble in justice, and He teaches the humble His way.

If spiritual pride is healed, other things are easily corrected. Our first care should be to correct the heart and pull the beam of pride out of our eye and then we shall see clearly.

Growing Christians Beware!

Those who are most zealous in the cause of God are the most likely to be targeted as being filled with pride. When any person appears, in any respect, to be noticeably excelling others in his Christian walk, odds are ten to one that it will immediately awaken the jealousy of those about him.

They will suspect (whether they have good reason or not) that he is very proud of his goodness and that he probably thinks no one as good as he is, so that everything he says and does is observed with this prejudice.

Those who are themselves cold and dead, and especially those who have never had any experience of the power of godliness on their own hearts, will easily entertain such thoughts of the best Christians. This arises from nothing less than a secret hostility against essential and fervent holiness.

But the zealous Christian should take heed that this does not prove a snare to him, and the devil take advantage of it to blind his eyes from beholding the true nature of his heart and to think that because he is charged with pride wrongfully and with an unkind spirit, that such charges are not sometimes valid.

Alas, how much pride the best have in their hearts! It is the worst part of the body of sin and death; the first sin that ever entered into the universe and the last that is rooted out. It is God s most stubborn enemy!

Pride: a Secret Enemy

Pride is much more difficult to be discerned than any other corruption because of its very nature. That is, pride is a person having too high an opinion of himself. Is it any surprise, then, that a person who has too high an opinion of himself is unaware of it? His thinking is that he thinks that the opinion he has of himself has just grounds and therefore is not too high. If the grounds of the opinion of himself crumbled, he would cease to have such an opinion.

But, because of the nature of spiritual pride, it is the most secret of all sins. There is no other matter in which the heart is more deceitful and unsearchable and there is no other sin in the world that men are so confident in. The very nature of it is to work self-confidence and drive away any suspicion of any evil of that kind. There is no sin so much like the devil as this for secrecy and subtlety, and appearing in great many shapes that are undetected and unsuspected.

Spiritual pride takes many forms and shapes, one under another, and encompasses the heart like the layers of an onion: when you pull off one, there is another underneath. Therefore, we have need to have the greatest watch imaginable over our hearts with respect to this matter and to cry most earnestly to the great Searcher of hearts for His help. He that trusts his own heart is a fool.

Since spiritual pride in its own nature is so secret, it cannot be so well discerned by immediate intuition on the thing itself. It is best identified by its fruits and effects, some of which I will make mention of below together with the contrary fruits of Christian humility.

Pride: the Great Fault-finder

Spiritual pride causes one to speak of other persons sins, their enmity against God and His people, or with laughter and levity and an air of contempt, while pure Christian humility disposes either to be silent about them or to speak of them with grief or pity.

The spiritually proud person shows it in his finding fault with other saints, that they are low in grace and how cold and dead they are, and are quick to discern and take notice of their deficiencies. The eminently humble Christian has so much to do at home and sees so much evil in his own that he is not apt to be very busy with other hearts.

He complains most of himself and complains most of his own coldness and lowness in grace. He is apt to esteem others as better than himself and is ready to hope that most everybody has more love and thankfulness to God than he, and cannot bear to think that others should bring forth no more fruit to God s honor than he.

Some who have spiritual pride mixed with great learning and joy, earnestly speaking to others about them, are likely to be calling upon other Christians to emulate them and sharply reprove them for their being so cold and lifeless.

There are others who are overwhelmed with their own vileness, and when they have extraordinary discoveries of God’s glory, they are taken up by their own sinfulness. Though they are disposed to speak much and very earnestly, yet it is very much in blaming themselves and exhorting fellow Christians, but in a loving and humble manner.

Pure Christian humility causes a person to take notice of everything that is good in others, to make the best of it and to diminish their failings; however, he turns his eye chiefly on those things that are bad in himself and to take much notice of everything that aggravates them.

Pride: Ministering in a Harsh Spirit

It has been the manner of spiritually proud persons to speak of almost everything they see in others in the most harsh, severe language. It is frequent with them to say of other’s opinion, conduct, advice, coldness, silence, caution, moderation, prudence, etc. that they are from the devil or from hell.

Such kind of language they will commonly use, not only towards wicked men, but towards those who are true children of God and also towards ministers of the gospel and others who are very much their superiors. Christians who are but fellow-worms ought at least to treat one another with as much humility and gentleness as Christ treats them.

Pride: Putting on Pretenses

Spiritual pride often causes persons to act different in external appearance, to effect a different way of speaking, to use a different sort of dialect from others, or to be different in voice, countenance or behavior. But he that is an eminently humble Christian, though he will be firm in his duty, however different — going the way of heaven alone, though all the world forsake him — yet he does not delight in being different for difference s sake.

He does not try to set himself up to be viewed and observed as one distinguished, as desiring to be accounted better than others — despising their company or conformity to them — but on the contrary, desires to become all things to all men, to yield to others and conform to them and please them in all but sin.

Pride: Takes Offence Easily

Spiritual pride takes great notice of opposition and injuries that are received and is prone to be often speaking of them and to be much in taking notice of their aggravation, either with an air of bitterness or contempt.

Pure and unmixed Christian humility, on the other hand, causes a person to be more like his blessed Lord when reviled: quiet, not opening his mouth, but committing himself in silence to Him who judges righteously. For the humble Christian, the more the world is against him, the more silent and still he will be, unless it is in his prayer closet, and there he will not be still.

Pride: Presumption Before God and Man

Another effect of spiritual pride is a certain self-confident boldness before God and men. Some, in their great rejoicing before God, have not paid sufficient regard to that rule in Psalm 2:11 — Worship the Lord with reverence, and rejoice with trembling.

They have not rejoiced with a reverential trembling, in a proper sense of the awful majesty of God and the awful distance between Him and them. There has also been an improper boldness before men that has been encouraged and defended by a misapplication of Proverbs 29:25 — The fear of man brings a snare… It is as though it became all persons, high and low, men, women and children in all Christian conversation to wholly abandon all manner of modesty or reverence toward man.

Not that any should refrain from Christian conversation, but with such humility as in I Peter 3:15—But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.

Pride: Hungry for Attention

Another effect of spiritual pride is to make the subject of it want attention. People often tend to act in a special manner as though others ought to take great notice and regard of them. It is very natural to a person that is very much under the influence of spiritual pride to take all the respect that is paid to him.

If others show a disposition to submit to him and yield in deference to him, he is open to it and freely receives it. It becomes natural for him to expect such treatment and to take much notice if a person fails to do so, and to have an ill opinion of those who do not give him that which he feels he deserves.

One under the influence of spiritual pride is more apt to instruct others than to inquire for himself and so naturally puts on the airs of control. The eminently humble Christian thinks he needs help from everybody, whereas he that is spiritually proud thinks everybody needs his help. Christian humility, under a sense of other’s misery, entreats and beseeches, but spiritual pride tries to command and warn with authority.

Pride: Neglecting Others

As spiritual pride causes persons to assume much to themselves, so it treats others with neglect. On the contrary, pure Christian humility disposes persons to honor all men as from I Peter 2:17. To enter into disputes about Christianity is sometimes unseasonable, such as in meeting for Christian conference or for exercises of worship.

Yet, we ought to be very careful that we do not refuse to converse with carnal men, as though we counted them not worthy to be regarded. On the contrary, we should condescend to carnal men as Christ has condescended to us, to bear with our unteachableness and stupidity.

Before I begin, let me tell you that it will be six years in July that we have lived in the North East of Kansas City.  We moved here that long ago for several reasons.  The chief motives at the time were for discipleship, I was moving nearer to the person that was teaching me and caring for my soul spiritually.  The next motive was to purchase a home for a lesser value than the one we were previously living in, out in Independence.  The third reason at the time was to move into the city to minister to the nations.  I have a degree in Spanish and in my employment I use it little, however in my neighborhood I have much opportunity.  As we have stayed in the City I have seen the more desperate need for Christians to move back into the city because it is one of the most unchurched, or unsoundly churched populations in the United States of America.  Most of the congregations which have sound doctrine have moved out to the suburbs.  This not to say all churches in the city have little doctrine but there are few.  Where there are not churches there are mosque’ and Buddhist temples, kingdom halls, many cults have infiltrated the cities yet many or most of the “Christians” are not represented in the city.

We moved here in spite of safety concerns, trusting God would be our provider, and He has provided each step of the way.  We did not move down here because the sole purpose was cheaper housing, we did not move down to the city because it was in the center of town and we could get to places more easily, we moved down to both be discipled and to make more disciples.

We had a rough beginning in the city when we went through a church “plant/split/shipwrecking” however, it was an amazing time of growth.  God saw fit to bring us toward FCC where we have never been more blessed by sound preaching and teaching then at any one time in our life.  However our mindset in the city has been to become like missionaries in this city. Most people, told us we were crazy, out of our minds.  Between friends and family members you would have thought we had just purchased a ticket to the loony bin, we saw it as an opportunity to be obedient to God’s word and not live for this life, at least as much of not living for this life at the time, which God had revealed to us.

This was where we are to plant our feet, and make disciples, yet we have been attending our church at FCC in the suburbs.  It’s been difficult in attempting to figure out how to minister to people in the city and yet attend a church in the suburbs.  It’s hard to bridge the gap at times, although God is able at all times in all ways to do these things.  When we first arrived to the church people would ask us where we were from and why we were living down there.  It’s hard to say we’re living in the city to minister to the people, without feeling as if you’re sounding self-righteous.  Somehow it seems honorable if you go abroad but for whatever reason if you are living as a missionary/tent maker in the city, you’re a little radical, or a little out there.  Perhaps is our American Seek ye Comfort of Culture first ideology, I am unsure.

Regardless we’ve been at our church for a few years now, we have held back yard bible clubs, held out reaches from our home, yet nothing really has brought our neighborhood together, until the past two weeks.  God has answered our prayers in ways that we or really (I) had not anticipated.  We have been praying for opportunities to get in closer with our neighbors.  To begin to bring light into the darkness.  Yet God does things in ways I do not quite understand, I thank Him that His ways are higher than my ways.

It all began the night  that Richard Owens Roberts Preached at FCC, I came home and even though under some great conviction about prayerlessness, we made it to sleep.  We had our fan on and the window cracked.  My wife woke up to look outside at 1:30-ish am as it was lightening and raining, and our Blue Mini-Van had been stolen… It was simply GONE.   Yes right out in front of our home.

Let me put this in perspective a little bit, our car windows have been broken out of our mini-van , we think, eleven times now in almost six years, many of those were attempts at auto-theft, and this morning our new van had been stolen.  You can enlarge the pictures below by clicking on them.

I’m not showing all of the pictures, the lining out of the top of the van was ripped, the dvd player was ripped out and the wiring for the dvd player.  they ripped the seats, and then drew a picture of a demon or a devil on the dashboard.

This devastated my family, my children, each time it is difficult for them to understand how the heart of deceitfully wicked people could be so wicked.  We are one of the few people on our street that do not have off street parking.  Had we known better we would not have purchased a home without one down here, but God knows what we need better than we do, and thus had these lessons in mind for our family before the foundations of the world!

We prayed for the people which stole our car, it appeared to be a gang initiation, and we were also aware that this was extremely spiritual as well.  I confess I have not prayed enough, for them, and as I write this blog post, I am convicted that I must pray more for them.  We were able to get a rental and we had made a decision that this time we were not going to be hasty and go purchase a vehicle but stop and save for a vehicle or perhaps wait on the Lord to provide one in time.   We had one more mini-van, and our school year is over this Friday so we thought we will just make it one more week with the rental and we will be just fine.  God will provide.

Saturday morning at 4:30 am we hear our door bell ringing and ringing.  we quickly dress and run down to the bottom of our stairs and there are two neighbors standing outside.  They said that two kids just hopped into our van and took off down the street.

We were nearly in shock and dumbfounded that our other car had been stolen less than two weeks from the last one.  It’s been so heart breaking and we hadn’t even gotten the other one settled yet before this one had been stolen out from underneath us.  Our neighbor from across the street rushed over and said she had heard a crash right after it happened.    Some other neighbors looked down the block and saw our van wrapped around a telephone pole only a half a block away.  The police officer said when they broke the ignition they probably messed up the steering and when they drove off so fast to get away the probably lost control of the van because the steering was affected by the ignition break and they hit driver-side into the telephone pole.

After much devastation, and being completely amazed that we have now had 11 car windows crashed in almost 6 years and 2 stolen vehicles in two weeks, after we had gotten through all of the thoughts of “Are we being targeted by someone”. and or we know that Satan is attempting to steal our faith, and our joy, I sat back and asked God why?  I mean another $5oo deductible lord?  How am I going to get from place to place now?  I must provide for my family?  How Lord does this work?  It caused me to ponder all of these things over and over again, asking God why?

Then in church today really before church started and I was thinking over the previous day and all of its problems I remembered several things.  I remembered that all of my neighbors later on in the morning were gathering outside of our home.  They are all watching how we handle this tragedy, we were able to talk about Jesus slightly with some men in the neighborhood, and our neighbor across the street is ready for us to begin a monthly prayer meeting in our home for the neighborhood.  And then I realized….

God answered our prayer, he’s bringing our neighborhood together, He’s magnifying His name!  He’s humbling me and my family…. He’s providing, He’s rebuilding! He’s restoring!  He’s opening doors with these people I would not have otherwise.  And then I realize my own failure, and my lack of faith, and my foolishness and I realize God is faithful, and good, and wise, and sovereign.   I’m sure the further away we get from the incident the more we will be able to see God’s grace, and God calls this sanctification and says that it’s purpose is to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.

I look forward to sharing these things with my family, after having written them out to solidify them.  He is a good God.  Please pray that our neighbors would come to know Christ, that Christ would call them to Himself!  May God be glorified in this trial.

And I thank him for all his blessings and trials because in spite of my faithlessness he is God who is always faithful.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? -1 Peter 4:12-17

So it’s my understanding Richard Owen Roberts has been preaching revival for 60 years, he told us that evening that he is now 77  years of age. He is from Wheaton, IL. Dr. Mac Brunson, Pastor, FBC Jacksonville, called him “the closest thing to an OT prophet we have.”

I had heard a little about him, I listened to part of a sermon online once, but I knew that he had a reformed perspective yet was a huge proponent for biblical revival. I was excited at even the mention of revival. I see a luke warmness, or a coldness in the general sense around the things of God for most people, around fellowship of the believer, and around loving one another. A love for form but not the substance therein.

FCC is my home church, and we generally don’t have Sunday evening services. There were only a few people from our church there, and several others from the church I believe that sponsored him. ( If anyone has further information about the church that sponsored him I will update this post and post more information. )

I had been told of Dr. Roberts by several friends of “revival” that he had been brought to Kansas City before and Dr. Whitney knew him. So I was slightly prepared for the sermon but I don’t think I was prepared for this little old man to preach with this kind of authority and power.

I will not say I agreed with him 100% on every point but I did for the most part and I believe it’s a message for the church right now and today.

I don’t want to give all of it away but I would encourage you to listen to it.  You can Down Load it here.

Download

Or you can find it here http://faithcommunity.com/media-center

NOTES

Passage: 2 Samuel 6

(Part I) History of the Removal of Ark from Israel

The ark was out of place for approximately 60 years (taken under Eli, Samuel ruled 20 yrs, Saul ruled 30yrs, David ruled 10 yrs before ark brought back)

The priest Eli was a glutton and did his service from a stool because he was overweight from eating the choice meats that people brought for sacrifice

(Num 4:1-15) the descendants of Kohath had been given specific instructions on proper care for the Ark.

Like Israel, the American Church has taken its direction from the Philistines instead of God’s Word in the “How” to do things.

Believers need to pay close attention to what the Lord has said and then follow God precisely, and not believe that God accepts whatever, however, but God’s word requires obedience.

(Part II) David dancing before the people

The 1st 3 Beatitudes are expressing 3 relationships: poor in spirit (upward), mourning (inward), meek (outward)

David was wearing a linen ephod, the attire of a common man, before God because he wasn’t pretending to be something before men that he admitted he wasn’t before God.

If God is worthy to be worshiped, everything is to be done in the way God commands.

David danced in the street as a common man among common men, visibly humble before God, in himself, and before the people.

There are lots of people in the church who are not willing to admit that they are common men all under the same grace of Jesus Christ.

(Part III) Practical Applications

He has been thrown out of some reformed churches because, after hearing great sermons, and some conferences, Roberts commented that though they have pristine theology, ‘Theology as important as it is, is not all that there is!’ That their churches aren’t churches of prayer.

(1) It’s God’s primary intention that His house be known as a house of prayer -Luke 19:41-47

Almost every evangelical Church in America is making a mockery of corporate prayer.

Unless you humble yourself, you’ll be incensed when someone tells you you’re out of line with Scripture

(2) Eating and drinking damnation to self is a serious issue -1 Cor 11:23-29

(3) John the Baptist knew he was the forerunner of Christ

* ROR set under the ministry of Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones > dozen times

* MLJ proscribed a baptism of fire & Holy Spirit -Luke 3:16 (passion, purity & power)

Don’t let the misinformed high-jack this doctrine and application of Scripture, I refuse to dismiss the word of the Lord because someone has carried it to sinful extremes.

The above are notes from the sermon.  This doesn’t cover the whole sermon but offers a bullet point overview of much of what was said.  To make sure you understand though, and gather in all the context in which these things were said I would encourage you to listen to the sermon on your own!

Charles H. Spurgeon once said in a sermon, “The system of truth is not one straight line, but two. No man will ever get a right view of the gospel until he knows how to look at the two lines at once.”

I have been in the reformed “arena” for about three to four years now. Needless to say I’m sure I have just scratched the surface in understanding God’s Holiness, his sovereignty, what grace really means. I now understand with good footing what being “saved” or “being saved” really means. I have a greater understanding of God keeping us; of how Salvation actually occurs and that all of these things begin and end with God and not man. My eyes have been opened when it comes to sharing Christ with the lost and even the granting of “repentance” from God which leads to life. Acts 11:18

There was so much before in my Christian walk where I had so many pieces missing, so many lines that seemingly went back and forth with no real understanding of how God interacts in our daily life yet allows us to make decisions. Realizing now before I was born again, before I repented and believed, all I ever did was sin against my God, even the attempts at good things I now understand to be filthy, thus my need for Jesus Christ. And thus everyone’s need for Jesus Christ.

All of these things are such incredible benefits I have gained from having a deeper understanding of God’s sovereignty, yet with Spurgeon’s line;

“The system of truth is not one straight line, but two. No man will ever get a right view of the gospel until he knows how to look at the two lines at once.”

Sometimes it seems the line of truth that we remain focused upon is God’s sovereignty to the neglect of our responsibility. I have been taught to a great degree from personal experience that I cannot force anyone to live “Christianly” or make people to read their bible or to walk by the spirit in their circumstances, marriages, trials, in such a way as it flows from the inside of their heart, much less my own heart at times to live and do the “right” thing. This is an act of God alone that changes the hearts of men and women. I have learned in my walk that none of these urgings by men compare when they are urged by the Holy Spirit.  Understanding we rest in the Justification of Christ, and we rest there knowing full well there is not one iota we can add to the work of Christ, yet also in scripture we are still commanded by scripture to good works.  We are rightfully afraid of being prideful yet sometimes so afraid of causing disunity we fail to lovingly bring about truth in our responsibility to uphold truth.  We boldly preach truth from our pulpits but if we “do” anything boldly in our doing it is seen as a bit radical, yet is this not what the promise of the Holy Spirit is in His coming that we may be “bold” filled with the spirit, and this kind of preaching should produce, “action”.

Yet in America we are seemingly not compelled to be more involved with the Body of Christ to BE the body of Christ. We have enough going on in our own lives, and often times that is the case, there is a constant tension of the busy of the world, and the busy and business of the Kingdom, yet we sleep often in our Christianity. ( preaching to myself)

Perhaps the greatest single weakness of the contemporary Christian church is that millions of supposed members are not really involved at all, and what is worse, do not think it strange that they are not
— Elton Trueblood

I believe however that the evidence of a greater understanding of God’s sovereignty should have the opposite “actual” effect than it often seemingly has in many “Reformed Circles.” This would mean that if I have a greater understanding of God, then at whatever degree I come to understand the depths of God’s sovereignty, I should be compelled to a greater and greater degree of my responsibility toward God. This does nothing for the fact that I would try to work toward salvation or “works” righteousness to appease a sovereign God but it would be that out of the depths of my understanding toward God I would seek more to go deeper and further with God in all aspects of my life. It would now not be for me to boast whatsoever but purposed so that others might see our good works and Glorify our father in heaven.

My pastor recently gave a sermon on which he called us to stir one another up, in a sermon called “Consider One Another” in our study through Hebrews. In this sermon he said the word to stir was equivalent to the word incite one another, like inciting a riot, or to irritate. We just had a sermon on this however how many people are doing anything near this in REALITY? How many of us are inciting one another stirring each other up? What is our responsibility in doing so? Let’s take some of the other commandments from God’s word such as prayer. We’ve had a several sermons on prayer recently but let me ask you why does this seemingly have little “staying” power in our lives to diligently continue in these things? Why so often do sermons which are great in content, seem as fleeting as Christian summer camp where we learn about Jesus for a week and then depart never to practice anything we professed to believe? I know so many of these disciplines I am guilty of myself, I know that God has transformed me by having to have me go through many life lessons and tribulations in order to come to greater and greater understandings that I MUST seek to obey God and this is my responsibility. Is God sovereign? The answer is absolutely yes; however why does it seem that the teaching of His sovereignty has so many still thinking and walking like a short temporary summer camp sermons which often fade.

So my question in God’s sovereignty and Man’s responsibility is where is the staying power of the Holy Spirit today in our lives?
I have been pondering this question for years and a friend of mine after bible study and prayer this morning had this to say as he’s been doing a study on “The Kingdom of God.”

It is so not what we think of the Kingdom even in today’s age, but points me more toward a type of Lordship of a King. . . . Kevin said something like, “we have been so pre-occupied with “Freedom” from the tyranny of men, that we have forgotten that we have been bought with a price and we are not our own, but we serve a King… yet in our freedom from man we have decided to serve self verses use our freedom to worship God with our lives!

May God allow us to the ability to see the two lines at once, and walk in the tension and understading of this truth.  I pray we may know the incredible beauty of God’s sovereignty and the charge of living being and walking by the spirit in our responsibility that our lives may demonstrate the magnificence of our savior in Heaven!

Dude, I’m pretty sure I’ve sent you something along these lines before – but this time I withhold no punches. Aside from my brother and growing up in the same place, you and I clearly have nothing in common. There is no need to pretend we are friends, especially considering I strongly feel people like you are a huge part of what’s wrong with this country, and indeed the entire world.

Wanna know why the Republicans are getting their a$$es handed to them lately? People like you open your mouths and say things fewer and fewer folks can identify with. Wanna know why the pulpit is having a hard time filling the pews these days? Don’t blame Satan. It’s your own fault. I believe the day is coming when this Pauline bastardization of Christ’s message fades away from the collective consciousness. I pray it’s sooner than later.

I’m kicking you off my friends list as soon as I send this. I wish you a spiritually productive lifetime and hope that you infect as few people as possible with your fear of damnation.

Now he’s saying a lot of things that he’s gathered and broad brushed me into a category because I’m a conservative Christian, however I note a couple of things in his note to me.

#1.  I give thanks to God that he transformed my mind, that he took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh.  Why because I used to think this way, I was liberal in thought mind and every manner of life.  I did not base my “perspective on life” or as Christians have coined, my “worldview” on anything other than the thoughts of my peers, and what seemed right in my own eyes.   I thought for a long time that if people “love” one another it shouldn’t matter, it didn’t have to be that way for “Me” but I didn’t see anything wrong with others having their own thoughts on these things.  I had been “infected” by the world and the thoughts of the “collective conscience” as this gentleman puts it and I was flowing in the river of the world going right along with the stream of the world and where popular thought was taking me.

It wasn’t until God showed me that there is a God, and someone greater than SELF that I must yield my life and my mind toward.  It wasn’t until God showed me my “mortality”  and put the “Fear” of God into my heart did I fall at the feet of God and understand that the way of my own life, and my own choices, lead me to death, literally.

God had to literally reach in and change me, grant me repentance for my pride, and for me to lose the convictions I had for the world like this guy demonstrates. He’s so convinced that his way is the right way he is blinded by his own hypocrisy and pride, no different than I had been. God allowed me to come to the end of my self and my selfishness, at least in part, to be able to see how wretched I truly was on my own.  It wasn’t until this death of self took place in the corridors of my heart and my flesh could I then be born again and my mind and heart be transformed.  This is indeed a miracle.  It’s not often that people completely change their minds, about their convictions in life.

#2.  I don’t get upset with what he’s saying above, for example:

People like you open your mouths and say things fewer and fewer folks can identify with.

There is some truth in the fact that fewer and fewer people can and do identify with the gospel.  They don’t understand the good news.  The word “Gospel” sounds to many lost in these days like some genre of music sung only during Christmas.  The meaning is lost.  And why is it that the meaning is lost?  I would speculate that it is largely lost because the “Christian heritage” that this country once held to has been lost.  The values and principles were at the minimum taught when children were younger even if they strayed when they got older, they could recall being taught in church and Sunday School what sin, punishment for rebellion, wrath, Love of God, Mercy and forgiveness, were all about and they knew deep down often that this was the “right” thing.

Whereas today both parents are working, we are babysat by our televisions, and we learn about life and sex and everything else from cultural media verses being taught by our parents, from the perspective of Christian Values.  We have generation by generation been slowing slipping away from God’s word, and it is the hope of the evil one and all those who are enjoying their sin and rebellion to God as I had been before I was saved.

So what do we do with slander and criticism like this?  I take it, listen to the things that will help me grow.  I know that God is sovereign and that we must listen to these complaints and then learn from them.  They are tools to help us see the pride and hypocrisy in our own lives, and opportunities to examine our faith to see if those on the outside hate us because we believe there is truth, and that truth is absolute in the Person and Work of Jesus Christ, or if they hate us because our lives demonstrate something other than Christ as we live it out.

Regardless it’s a reminder to me that I have been changed, and I am so very thankful I do not believe and think and trust in my own self, or my own ideas or thoughts…. they have so often been wrong  or deceptive but there is something greater than myself, and His name is Jesus Christ, and HE is our Hope.

So let me encourage you to not give up on people who think this way, on people with “conviction” against the bible, or Jesus Christ but to pray for them to hold them up to God and ask for mercy that they might too have a Damascus road conversion and be thrown back and spun on their head in their understanding!  may God be magnified by such testimonies and may those of us who have them never forget it was God and not us!