His name was William.  I didn’t get a last name, but he was a Veteran who served in Vietnam.  He said his family has disowned him, his life isn’t of much value, but spent much of his conversation with me attempting to tell me of his value.  I could see him attempting to grasp at his worth or value, his need to be recognized as loved by someone, but without recognizing Jesus.  He then proceeded to admire our Lab and then as we were sitting there, I asked him what he thought this life has after here.  He said he wasn’t sure, he grew up Baptist, but didn’t know that his parents were baptist until later.  ( In other words,  William had grown-up in a third generation baptist home. ) (More on multi-generational faithfulness later)

William was somewhat intoxicated and as the conversation progressed, his level of inebriation progressed, because of the bottle in hand.  We started off with much clarity however.  I asked him if he knew the gospel, and like so many men he knew the mechanics of the gospel word, and had heard the gospel given, preached, spoken.  I asked him if he knew why Jesus died?  And he said yes, because God required a perfect sacrifice for his wrath to be satisfied.

I was really in shock for some time at his coherent answer when it came to not just articulating that Christ died for sin, but that God requires a perfect sacrifice.  He obviously didn’t learn his theology from a Jehovah’s Witness, but from someone who seemed to have somewhat sound Christian theology.

William then proceeded to tell me that he had lived with a minister for 8 months during his life.  And he had learned and understood much  “Christianity stuff…..” but  what he couldn’t seem to understand was the fact that while he lived in the basement of the minister’s home, the minister treated his wife like dirt.  He spoke down to her all the time, he held himself up to be special and self-righteous, he never came down to the level of anyone else.  There was nothing his wife could do right, and the way that he spoke to her was horrible.

Topics changed at some point for a moment, William said he had a decision to make this evening, he was thinking about going to a VA home where he could rest for the remainder of his life, because he said he didn’t have long in this world.  I spoke a little of Matthew 7, about fruit, but spoke to him about trust in Christ.  Not trusting in his drink or the things of this world.  When we were done I prayed with him, and there were some tears, but I wasn’t sure if they were from the alcohol or from God softening his heart.  I pray the latter, yet I do not know.

Williams “Life Philosophy” however, he didn’t get from the bible, but he got from the apathy of life, the depression of being unwanted, when he feels as if there is little to live for, and all that was worth living for now, is gone.  He took his favorite saying which he lives by from a Doris Day movie, “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be).”  This is William who lets life happen to him now, he’s understood the gospel, he says he believes, and yet, he doesn’t believe.

And though he knew the mechanics of the bible for whatever reason God hasn’t seen fit to show William that he’s in need of a savior, he understands that in a sense “Whatever will be will be” yet at the same time he takes little responsibility for his own life or the things happening to him, ascribing his lack of true faith in Christ to those whom claimed the name of Christ but did not live it out eg. the minister whom he lived with while he lived in Oklahoma.

Last night’s encounter brought conviction to me, and to my life.  It had me examine how others view my life, with those possibly watching.  Not only with my spouse, my children, but with strangers and neighbors, with co-workers and friends.  When I speak the name of Christ, of the Gospel, of discipleship and the like, how does my life demonstrate my belief? or does it repulse, what about being self-righteous, proud, dogmatic, insincere ?

It’s only the Holy Spirit in us which provides us with the “Care” for others souls in eternity, and it’s only “Him” who moves us to action, to speak to them about Jesus, I can claim no part in it.   I pray God grant us belief, strength, and will power to overcome the flesh, the apathy, the pride.  We are so prone to apathy, to not care about anyone but ourselves here in the U.S…., may God grant us intentionality, and purpose as we seek not to live Christianity out of a programmed legalistic life, but to bring the gospel to bare on everyday life because of Christ.

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.  For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. -2 Corinthians 5:16-21

Sound like silly psychobabble yet?  Well let me explain it this way, when we care for people who are like us there is something often “in it” for us.   Often we are “self-fulfilled” by those whom are like us, we feel validated or having value, when we are in disagreement it is how we, in turn, handle those differences which lead down the road of humility or pride.

If we love people when people are like us we are comfortable and it’s easy to carve out in our lives little replica’s in our mind of ourself and as long as they are in agreement with me then we walk in love with one another, but when we disagree, my love for them is conditional and I no longer care for this person.  How many of us are guilty here?  We are often fine in relationships whether with our spouse, friends, even our churches when we align in all areas, but when we differ, and someone doesn’t line up with how “I think,” our idol of self has betrayed us and we soon move on to the next idol which will fulfill or validate our thinking, our life, our theology, whatever the case may be.

I am speaking about this because of my own guilt in it, and God revealing this type of idolatry in my own life.  I would guess that I’m not alone in my thinking.   So the question is how are we to deal with differences?  My wife and I are extremely different, and we have had to learn early on in our marriage to care for those differences, and we are not perfect in it.  In friendships and often in church we can avoid difficult relationships, or people whom we are not like.  It’s easier to be around people who are like us.  We often seek to please our flesh and if our flesh finds it painful to be around people we disengage and seek comfort, and that comfort is often to play to our strengths instead of our weakness.

What I found in listening to the message about “We-Humility” and having care and concern about one another’s differences in marriage,  is that we’re forced to deal with those differences.  It’s not like friendships we can avoid but in marriage governed by God we deal with these differences in two ways.  The first way that we often deal with them is to try to do what we would do in Church or some other relationship, if we find a difference we try to stay away from that topic, or area of discussion.  The problem being is that ultimately in marriage it always comes up again.

I remember when I first got married my wife didn’t have an understanding of  “white collar work” vs. “blue collar work.”  For a long time she thought my many hours on the computer perhaps wouldn’t be classified as work.  I looked at her often and would see that she worked non-stop with her hands and in a “blue collar” sort of way and though I was amazed at her work ethic I must say that her activity showed me my own sin.  Neither one of us could see the other one’s perspective and therefore there was a point of contention for several years in our marriage.  Until at some point in time God granted me the ability to see my wife from His perspective.   I began to look at her the way God sees my wife, as a gift and her attributes which are reflected in God as a gift.  My wife’s work ethic accused my laziness before, and then with His perspective it was her work ethic which now inspired me to do more physical labor, even though I still 10 + years later have a long way to go.   Later she too came to care and understand that even though what I did wasn’t physical labor, that the work I did with my mind became appreciated.  I believe she too came to appreciate, and have a thankfulness for how God had given me the ability to provide for our home.

This is an example in marriage about beginning to care for one another’s differences, humbling our selves and newly understanding that we do not have the corner on “reality” but God does, it is his perspective that matters and not the lens through which I view the world in sin, but through His eyes.  This takes time, repentance, and God’s grace.    Now how does this love and care for one another’s differences take place in our churches and other relationships?

I was reading the word this morning and it seemed to be an answer, but not to my surprise it is much the same as in marriage.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,  that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,  with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,  eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism,  one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 3:14 | 4:1-6

It is out of the love of Christ who is able, in Ephesians 3 that we humble ourselves to walk in a manner worthy of our calling which we all have been called.  I believe also we have to walk this out with one another, this isn’t meant to be done by ourselves.  God does this sanctifying work in His power, in His way, in His time, yet at the same time the differences between my wife and I, wouldn’t have been exposed if we hadn’t come together.   This sin that was sitting below the surface may not have surfaced, I may never have been challenged by her giftedness, if I had kept myself in “self-justify” mode for laziness or “pitty party” for lack of understanding vs. asking God to show me my wife in the way He sees her, then relying upon God to produce in my heart the change.   He is an amazing God, loving us, and then out of that love producing in us the ability to love in the differences of life.

In our places of worship we still must come together to be in “relationship” with one another in order for us to discover, and sharpen, and rub each other in certain ways that God may produce in us transformation through His love.  When we avoid relationships with people who are different than us we are feeding our idol of selfishness.  But Christ called us to die so that we may bear fruit….

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. – John 12:24

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. – Matthew 16:24

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. – Mark 8:34

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. – Luke 9:23

Where we die to those differences, and begin to love others in their differences in a real way, demonstrates the death of the idol of self, and the truth of sanctification as we walk in a manner worthy of our calling!

Session 1

Session 2

Session 3

Steve Timmis and Tim Chester wrote a series of blogs for the Resurgence based on Total Church.

This video is an hour long but if you long for a more real, radical Christian life, this is a biography that will inspire you, as you see Keith go from lost to new birth, to radical lover of God.  He walked outside of normal convention which had an amazing impact on many and is still having an impact today.

Enjoy !

This simplistic church, what I mean by that is they stay with the very basics doctrinally. They are a bit more charismatic in nature than the ones I am more accustomed to, and yet in this sermon I heard the pulling down of high doctrine. The example he gave is someone approached him about going deeper theologically in his messages, the guy asking considered himself a student of theology. This pastor’s answer was if you don’t have the basics down yet how can you go deeper in theology? So his reply was, “How many people have you shared Christ within the past week or two?” Needless to say the pastor made it sound like the gentleman left like a puppy dog with his tail between his legs. He unfortunately never directly addressed the question but pointed at the shortcomings of those who go deep as his response to the question. This happens both ways, both parties point at the shortcoming of the other rather than point at their own short comings and strive to attain that as their goal in sanctification!

We unfortunately must all agree that there are shards of truth in the pastor’s thoughts although I believe that this is a false argument. I don’t believe the two things have to be mutually exclusive, in the sense that I believe that there can be high doctrine / theology and passionate evangelistic fervor for the lost and a love for men.

The gospel message which needs to be brought to all men, in all socio and economic classes demands there be a simplistic explanation of the Gospel. If this were not the case we would still be reading scripture in latin and the Word as we know it today would not exist. Yet man likes to pervert a good thing and make it something for which it was not intended, which in many cases, is lowering the bar for those who need to see that the bar doesn’t move for anyone, there are only differing intellectual entry points and the standard in God’s word toward sanctification never changes.

This thought reminds me of the saying that, “God meets you where ever you are but doesn’t leave you where you are at…” God will meet you in the pig pen etc, but He doesn’t leave you there in the pig pen, he puts a robe on your and a ring on your finger and you now have a higher calling.

The tension is to press forward to reach forward to the high calling of our Christian life here on this earth as we work out our salvation in fear and trembling, yet pressing on toward the goal.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Phillipians 3:13-14

The bar is never lowered in sanctification for either seeking God with our whole heart or having a relationship with Jesus, and a passionately practiced life in Christ, not by which earns us any merit or a righteousness of our own but out of the gratitude of our justification. In other words the highest understanding of doctrine and who Christ is, should only compel us to live out this doctrine in theological living. It should be a conforming factor in our lives which we are ever seeking to be molded by and transformed into the image of Christ.

On the other hand I have heard also many a sermon that discusses the dumbing down of America, no one can read the reformers and look at the educational system in the united states and see the quality of people we’re putting out into the world and not be amazed at how far down the intellect scale we have seemed to come. People can read my own blog and see that there is either a lack in the educational system or in me, or a combination of both.

There has been many a sermon which takes the dumbing down of Christianity and runs with it disdaining vernacular jargon. Some make snide remarks or comments about churches who don’t have much of a message, or who in their attempt to contextualize the message in the vernacular language weaken the message by weakening the vocabulary. And many times there is a thread of truth in these accusations. Some churches have made much of loving people contextualizing or seeking felt needs to the point of gutting the gospel message.

The problem is that neither of these two things need to be pinned one against the other yet for whatever reason this happens: Intellect vs. plainly speaking, high doctrine vs. loving men and the lost. The problem is these things MUST co-exist and yet we in our short sightedness do not always see it. We must have Intellectual high expectations and yet speak plainly, and we must never lower the bar of preaching and doctrine, and still yet love men.

How many of us as believers began in the churches which perhaps were more seeker oriented and held less emphasis on doctrine. Someone demonstrated the love of Christ to us in one of these churches where doctrine wasn’t their highest priority yet God used it for our benefit. This is not to say that the gospel message must not be understood from Gospel truth. Somewhere along the way we must have heard the true gospel message and regeneration must have taken place, and as we grew in relationship with Christ He showed us a deeper and deeper walk, and deeper and deeper theology and doctrine, and a deeper and deeper love. None which come without trial and experience in the faith as we walk out the doctrine He’s using to shape our lives.

So it is in these tensions we must seek after truth, once again danger on both sides of the extremes. We must also be careful not to step on one side to polish the other; both extremes lose the heart and the point of the intention.

What I am most thankful for is Christ who demonstrated both of these things for us in the person and work of Jesus Christ, marrying the two things together, faith, and the byproduct or fruit of faith which are the works He prepared for us from the foundations of the world.   Jesus gives us both giving us amazing doctrine, and yet living practically among men, demonstrating these truths as He lived and gave us in the new testament an example of this:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” -Matthew 22:36-40

So as you are considering Thanksgiving, read scripture, meditate upon its meaning, drink it in as it is the true bread of life which we can not live with out, and tell someone about the good news of Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross!
Happy Thanksgiving!

I so often and daily under appreciate, under thank, under admire, under cherish my wife.  I thought I would share 16 things that came to mind this morning as I reflected on our marriage, and on Christ.  I hope they are helpful for those starting out early in marriage.

This post is mostly for men although ladies are welcome!

1. Pray for your wife, and yourself, ask God to show you about her, to understand her, and if not understand her entirely then to cherish her.

2. Listen (Proverbs 15:31)

3. Read God’s word about marriage, learn to understand Christ’s love, and then how does that come to bare on how your love is for your wife, pray some more. (Ephesians 5)

4. Meditate on Christ’s love for his bride, don’t just read scripture about it meditate on it, and apply it! (Ephesians 5)

5. Repent of your own selfish-idolatry, we are often idolaters at heart longing to form or fashion our spouses in to the perfect image(idol) which we can worship in some way, if the idol won’t form / conform anger can set in because it’s not as we had fashioned in our imagination. This is sin, and often our chief problem of self loving idolatry which leads to strife. The remedy is repentance, at the cross, as we strive for selfless humility and love for our wife. (Jeremiah 10:1-16;Jeremiah 23:23-24; Acts 17:16-34)

6. When you’re in a disagreement, don’t get caught up in you, your ways, your hurts or concerns.(Philippians 2:3)

7. Change your tone of voice, your passion about something may come off to her as anger when it’s not, remember you were both raised differently and family history has a lot to do with communication.

8. Be gentle….

9. Be patient….

10. When things are difficult realize your hope isn’t in your spouse who was born in sin, but it is in Christ.

11. Die to yourself for her, she says she needs space, give it to her in spite of it killing you. She says she wants to talk and it’s difficult for you to do, do it anyway.

12. Learn to love your wife in the way that she understands love, not the way you understand love. You might find the book on love languages for marriage. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

13. Watch fire proof be stirred by it, remember Christ’s love for His bride.

14. Pray with your wife ( I do not do this enough but when I have it has been a transforming time)

15. Enjoy your wife

16. Pray some more, pray some more pray some more. Be patient, pray some more.

Things I must still preach to myself daily. These are all things for which I am in process, and am still learning.  God has used so many of these things however to show demonstrate His goodness towards us!  And I am thankful to Him!

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. – John 12:24

It has to die before it can bring life. This whole process of sanctification is a continual death to self and our life, in God.

Today the autumn leaves reminded me that when we are going through tough times, when we are dying there is beauty in our death to self, death to our flesh. And though for a while there is death, it isn’t until death takes place do we really notice the beauty, and trust in the fruit that will be produced next season. Although everything appears to be dying, and death is taking place, God is always faithful, and we can rest assured that there will be differing seasons until Christ’s return.

Thus how difficult is it to say when we are actually going through the hard times, that we see the beauty in those circumstances? This was God’s design to allow for seasons of life to death and back again. In fact we are most definitely going to have persecution in one form or another if we are truly following Him. In this persecution, with the sovereignty of God, there is a death which demonstrates God’s breath taking beauty. While we in our finite perspective see the gray all around, God shows us the beauty of this self death as we recount the faithfulness of God in our past seasons. He is always faithful to His children.

Paul amazingly shows us in 2 Corinthians as he recounted his persecutions, and then exhorted us to open our hearts! These seasons are not ours for the keeping but they are to point to Christ, just as all of creation points to God. And everything cries out Grace Grace Grace !!!

The words below, though correcting the Corinthians are encouraging. They allows us to get closer to understanding the paradox of life in Christ and death to self.

May God grant us all His perspective in times of affliction, and yet may He receive all the Glory for it!

1 Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. 2 For he says,

“In a favorable time I listened to you,
and in a day of salvation I have helped you.”

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 3 We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, 4 but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5 beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6 by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; 7 by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8 through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.

11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. 12 You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. 13 In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.      –2 Corinthians 6

This is from the Valley of Vision Puritan Prayers.

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley.