16 things I learned about marriage in my first 10 years!
Some of you may know that Brandy and I celebrated 10 years of Marriage last month! I was looking back through some old pictures watching our children grow, and watching me grow physically, yikes. I began reflecting on some of the lessons God has taught me through marriage. And how God has sanctified me using my wife, and teaching me to love, something besides my own self love. To die to my self, and to look at Christ as my example.
I so often and daily under appreciate, under thank, under admire, under cherish my wife. I thought I would share 16 things that came to mind this morning as I reflected on our marriage, and on Christ. I hope they are helpful for those starting out early in marriage.
This post is mostly for men although ladies are welcome!
1. Pray for your wife, and yourself, ask God to show you about her, to understand her, and if not understand her entirely then to cherish her.
2. Listen (Proverbs 15:31)
3. Read God’s word about marriage, learn to understand Christ’s love, and then how does that come to bare on how your love is for your wife, pray some more. (Ephesians 5)
4. Meditate on Christ’s love for his bride, don’t just read scripture about it meditate on it, and apply it! (Ephesians 5)
5. Repent of your own selfish-idolatry, we are often idolaters at heart longing to form or fashion our spouses in to the perfect image(idol) which we can worship in some way, if the idol won’t form / conform anger can set in because it’s not as we had fashioned in our imagination. This is sin, and often our chief problem of self loving idolatry which leads to strife. The remedy is repentance, at the cross, as we strive for selfless humility and love for our wife. (Jeremiah 10:1-16;Jeremiah 23:23-24; Acts 17:16-34)
6. When you’re in a disagreement, don’t get caught up in you, your ways, your hurts or concerns.(Philippians 2:3)
7. Change your tone of voice, your passion about something may come off to her as anger when it’s not, remember you were both raised differently and family history has a lot to do with communication.
8. Be gentle….
9. Be patient….
10. When things are difficult realize your hope isn’t in your spouse who was born in sin, but it is in Christ.
11. Die to yourself for her, she says she needs space, give it to her in spite of it killing you. She says she wants to talk and it’s difficult for you to do, do it anyway.
12. Learn to love your wife in the way that she understands love, not the way you understand love. You might find the book on love languages for marriage. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/
13. Watch fire proof be stirred by it, remember Christ’s love for His bride.
14. Pray with your wife ( I do not do this enough but when I have it has been a transforming time)
15. Enjoy your wife
16. Pray some more, pray some more pray some more. Be patient, pray some more.
Things I must still preach to myself daily. These are all things for which I am in process, and am still learning. God has used so many of these things however to show demonstrate His goodness towards us! And I am thankful to Him!
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